"Paul Bart: Mall Cop" Review

Ugh.

15 minutes into this movie, my slender son walked out of this movie in disgust and anger. "This movie is too mean to fat people!" See, almost all of the people he loves best, including his twin, are fat. Now, there absolutely are funny fat jokes, and those were the ones shown in the preview. Air vent breaking because of fat guy inside - not funny. Fat guy deliberately breaking air vent using his weight to crush mall "terrorists" - hilarious, comedy gold. Even for people the actor's size. I can go to the pool and hear fat people being made fun of, snarked about and hated on. Why should I pay for it?

The breaking point was when bystanders were all "ewww" when they saw a fat woman's stomach during the first fight scene. Seriously. A two for one sale on "fat people are disgusting and untouchable" and "thoughtless, senseless misogyny sold here!"

What should properly be seen as disgusting is the "forty-plus guy falls for girl a few years older than his middle schooler daughter." Creepy. If she were a clinically underweight but lovely thirty year old he fell for and pursued with borderline stalking methods that worked, whoo hoo, good for them. But when it's a teenager, not so much.

Now, I really did want to see this movie due to the actually funny physical comedy in the previews I saw. And I might have been willing to sit through the hateful jokes for the good ones on my own. But when there's too much hate for my 8 year old twins and ther 7 year old friend in the first fifteen minutes, I won't give the producers my money again. As we walked to the parking lot, my daughter K's (slender) friend M complained about how much she is teased for playing with (let alone being best friends with!) a fat girl. K (European American) isn't teased by other kids for befriending M, an African American girl. I'm just sayin'. (And no, this does not mean that fatphobia is the Last Acceptable Prejudice. It's just one reason we deliberately live in a diverse white-flight neighborhood.)

So this sewer rat might taste like pumpkin pie at the end, but I'll never know.