Entrance Essay Part One

I'm working on a social justice essay for my graduate school application. Please give me input. :)
More will be coming later. Here's part one of a one page double spaced essay.

An often overlooked issue of social justice is the disparity in treatment given to publicly and privately insured women who experience psychosis during pregnancy. This disparity has existed in all five states where I have practiced, and may very well be a national trend. An impoverished, pregnant and actively psychotic woman is among society's most vulnerable citizens. Yet treatment is at times withheld in favor of incarceration for this population due to a blend of limited choice, poor access to care and defensive medicine. This despite the fact that medications for psychosis are as safe as or safer than medicines routinely prescribed for nausea and hay fever.

Psychosis is the most severe form of mental illness, often robbing its targets of even the ability to perceive its nature as a disease with treatment available. Suicide is a serious risk among psychotic patients, with research showing a 4-10% death rate. Hay fever and nausea in pregnancy are rarely, if ever, deadly. Compared to women treated with antipsychotic medication, women previously diagnosed with an episode of psychosis who did not take medication had four times the risk of psychiatric relapse and hospitalization. Women who are pregnant during psychiatric hospitalization experience notably worse pregnancy outcomes. They have twice the rate of stillbirth, infant death, premature birth, low birth weight and small for gestational age babies.

So what do you think so far?